It’s Goin Down…. Cause I’m on Tinder

Greetings and Salutations, friends and loyal readers.  Vindex Reis here with another hot update on our favorite sexual predator and all around creep, Mr. Aaron Paschall.  A quick side note before we start:  A few have emailed in, asking me to explain the name Vindex Reis.  Because I work in journalism as my “real” job, it was important to protect my anonymity online, so a pseudonym was needed for this blog.  The name itself is a Latin phrase made up of two important words: Vindex, meaning “Avenger” and Reis, meaning “Guilty.”  Put together, the phrase also translates roughly to “Justly,” which I thought was a great explanation of my mission.  To serve as an avenger for the innocent to punish the guilty and to do so justly.  That being said, lets move on to the fun stuff.

When we last left Aaron Paschall, the idiot learned a strong lesson in internet privacy when he openly posted under an easily traceable screen name that he had a habit of regularly fucking vacuum cleaners (read all about it here).  After I revealed his proclamation to the world (or at least to the roughly 150 unique visitors I got off that post), he cleaned up his act and removed just about all traces of himself over the net.  I thought that might be the end of the blog completely, so I resigned myself to leaving up the vestiges and hoping that if even one future victim googled his name before a date, a horrible crime may yet be prevented.  However, I received a treasure trove of helpful information a few months ago.  They came from a female who asked to remain anonymous and requested only that I hold off on posting anything for a few months so it couldn’t be traced back to her. I happily accepted both terms and here we are.

One of the more interesting things I learned is a striking irony.  Although you can google his old screen name “BaxJanson” and read all about Mr. Paschall’s “Christian” morals, our friend is on Tinder.  For those who don’t know, Tinder is a rather infamous hook up site.  It’s basically used almost exclusively to find one night stands.  While there is nothing wrong with that in itself, when one is preaching Christian morals to the world while looking for some swipe-right strange, it reeks of hypocrisy.  Here is a screenshot of Paschall’s page courtesy of our friends at Tinder Queens, bringing you “The bad bisches of Tinder.”  I have blocked out his face for reader safety.  When you see his face, you want to throw something at it and I don’t want to be sued for broken monitors.

Tinder

Let’s parse out a little information here.  Aside form the usual self-aggrandizing hot air common to his posts (Seriously, I’ve had to sift through a bunch of them.  As bad as this writing is, the small sample means it’s a step up from his usual shit). He claims to be a jack of all trades.  I guess that’s true if you include alleged stalking and alleged sexual assault as a trade.  He also claims to be “fascinated by philosophy and formal logic.”  Hmmm…. Apparently he skipped the sections on ethics.  Finally, he ends with a happy lie, dropping a full ten years off his age (he’s willing to pretend).

Two notes before we head off:  First, to my readers.  If this loser shows up on your Tinder, for your own protection, swipe left.  Second, to our friend and subject of this post:  You are creepy.  Please stop before you find yourself slapped with a restraining order or something.

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